The Likes of Doncaster – Episode Two; This Time It’s Personal

Doncaster Rovers 4-0 Scunthorpe


Three months we’ve been back in the Championship, three months in which we have achieved very credible results against much better financed sides, teams such as Blackburn, Wigan and Leicester. We are the top team in our county – a fact helped by the woefulness of our rivals in the Steel City admittedly – and we are currently have four players away on international duty; two of whom will be lining up against World Champions Spain. Yet despite all this, despite all the good, to most we are still just ‘The Likes of Doncaster’,

Back in July we showcased some of the more crass examples of press folk patronisation as we re-introduced ‘The Likes of Doncaster’ to you all. Of course we didn’t think it would stop there. These people are only Murdoch media guzzling homogenised versions of humans after all. And that’s why we embrace it rather than recoil against it. It’s like a floodlight failure to us, or a referee being hit by the ball, when we see it, we just can’t help but go ‘Wahey!’ It brightens our day. Our club can make all the professional developments advancements they like, in the eyes of everyone who consumes their football primarily through a TV set we are the embodiment of tin-pot, the northern outpost where folk watch football between shifts, with coal-dust on their faces. We have meat-raffles at half-time, our players probably have second jobs.

So then to our next batch of naming and shaming – ten more pieces from the press which dismiss our team as a byword for ‘uncomfortable unavoidable chore’, the stray pube on football’s glinting toilet-seat. Eyes down look in and rejoice in the narrow-mindedness of others. All together now; “We’re the likes of Doncaster, We’re the likes of Doncaster, We’re the likes of Doncaster…”

1. Straight to the Patronisation

“Macheda! …is now being linked with the likes of Doncaster Rovers”

Samuel Gilbert; Give Me Sport, ‘Top 10: Career Horror Stories’, 16th August 2013

2. Surprise Move; Unsurprising Prefix

“The 31-year-old Irishman, who has played for the likes of Doncaster and Sheffield Wednesday, has signed a contract until the end of the 2014/15 season”.

Staff writer, The Daily Record, ‘Surprise Move by Hibernian as they Snap Up Kilmarnock Striker and French Winger’, 30th August 2013

3. Shay Given Would Rather Not Play Than Join ‘The Likes Of’

“He has also been linked with a host of loan moves this summer, with the likes of Doncaster Rovers – who have since signed Ross Turnbull – interested in his signature.”

Staff Writer; Metro Newspaper, ‘Shay Given Close to Completing Liverpool Switch’, 30th August 2013

4. Big In South Africa At Least

“Why is Soccer Laduma failing to bring us updates on matches from other leagues? We want detailed reports on these matches in England the likes of Doncaster, Peterborough were all playing but there has been no report needless to say we have South Africans there”

Soccer Laduma, ‘Express Yourself; Soccer Laduma is Failing Us’, 26th August 2013

5. Save Him Quick Before He Ends Up at ‘The Likes Of’

“The center defender has been attracting the interest from the likes of Doncaster Rovers as well and the Latics manager Owen Coyle is doing his best to conclude a deal for Barnett as soon as possible.

Sarad Shrestha , Winner Sports ‘Wigan Athletic Table a Bid for Leon Barnett’, 1st August 2013

6. Think Slums… Think South Yorkshire

“In a sense, I agree that the issue is mental. But unlike Freedman, I think his players simply aren’t up for a scrap. Too many came from the Premier League. Too many still want to be there. They aren’t willing to slum it and battle for points with the likes of Doncaster and Barnsley.”

Andy White, The League Paper ‘Dougie’s Battling With a Team of Losers’, 8th October 2013

7. ‘The Likes Of’ Used Positively

“It’s a sign of how Yeovil’s horizons and ‘traditional’ place in football have changed so much in such a short space of time that the likes of Doncaster Rovers, who we’d never met in any shape or form before 1998, are seen more as our peers these days than teams such as Weymouth or Bath City.”

CiderSpace, ‘Doncaster Rovers; Club Background’, November, 2013

8. A Rare Invitation to ‘Interact’ with Millwall Fans

“Just think how much it would improve the atmosphere at all home games if the likes of Doncaster Rovers & their 500 fans were on the lower tier and therefore able to better interact with home fans, rather than being up amongst the gods and isolated in the upper tier?”

Matt Little, The News Shopper, ‘Reading Fans are the Mouthiest of the Lot from my Millwall Following Experience’, 30th October, 2013


9. Western Gazette Fail to Grasp ‘Six Pointers’ Concept

“Wigan will not be Yeovil’s rivals come the end of the season and upcoming with the likes of Doncaster Rovers and Barnsley are certainly the proverbial six-pointers.

Western Gazette, This Is Somerset, “Loss Leaves More Asking if Boss Can Bolster His Squad”, 14th November 2013


10. When Names Matter More than Performance

“Huddersfield have looked good in spells this season with striker James Vaughan hitting the ground running, however dropped points at home to the likes of Doncaster is a worry.”

Who Scored, ‘Huddersfield v Charlton Preview’, 16th September 2013

4 thoughts on “The Likes of Doncaster – Episode Two; This Time It’s Personal

  1. At least the likes of Doncaster Rovers get that interesting preface; when Argentina beat the Dutch on pens in the World Cup semi-final the commentator did a really weird inflection on “Sheffield United and…and…LEEDS UNITED” when talking ‘up’ Alex Sabella’s playing career as if the words suddenly lost all meaning in his head.

Leave a Reply to Vincent Krasauskas Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s