Ipswich Town 6-0 Doncaster Rovers: 250 word match report

A steward watches on as Portman Road fills up for Ipswich Town against Doncaster Rovers

Six nil. To paraphrase Michael Palin in Ripping Yarns… six  bloody nil.

But before we get to that, let’s start by clearing something up. No-one who went to this game deserves a refund. One, because that’s not what football’s about. We’re supporters not consumers, and If you support your local side you have to be prepared for the occasional abject tonking. And two, because if we start doling out refunds for lacklustre performances, then given how woeful this was, we could be setting a dangerous precedent.

It all started to go pear-shaped 13 minutes in, when Ben Close mis-hit a cross field pass and Macauley Bonne benefitted from Wes Burns’ opportunism. It was 2-0 at half-time, Lee Evans turning in at the far post from a corner.

The real damage was done in a ten minute second half spell, when the home side plundered four more from Rovers’ crumbling defence. Evans grabbed two of them, meeting a Bersant Celina cross wit his head, before side-footing his hat-trick goal into the top corner. In between those Bonne volleyed in his second from another Celina cross, before George Edmundson notched the sixth, turning in a free-kick from the left.

Six bloody nil. Against Ipswich. They’re a team of old age pensioners. Six goals. Four of them from crosses. They were the worst. [Throws clock through the window].

by Glen Wilson

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