To quote the comedian and writer Charlie Higson from earlier this week; “For f*** sake, is it ever NOT London Fashion Week?” Those of you who frequent Twitter will be aware of that point each year (or seemingly every couple of months) when the hashtag #LFW begins to trend across the social network. As Higson’s quote may have indicated the key reason for this, is London Fashion Week; overpriced clothes on underfed people for the delectation of the over-funded.
However, as we well know, LFW has a very different connotation for people like us, and people who follow Gillingham, Rotherham, pre-rebrand Cardiff, Cambridge, and many more besides. LFW, L to the F to the W, is only ever Doncaster’s favourite adopted Southerner; Leo Fortune-West. So we infiltrate the trend and confuse fashionistas who now think that a 25 yard Port Vale toe-poke is a kind of porcelain sandal, or a ten min Orient hat-trick is a modern take on the conical nón lá.
The thing is, the reason LFW trends so significantly is actually because London Fashion Week and Leo Fortune-West are not mutually exclusive of one another. They are actually fused as one, and the star turn on the cat walks of the exclusive West Central postcodes is none other than Big Leo himself; LFW is LFW, and here for your delectation are some of this year’s highlights.
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Midriffs are in this year, which also means midriffs are out. Here Leo confidently sports a billowing pink trouser, which nods to a toned down MC Hammer feel and a cropped blouse which says belly dancer at a Turkish theme night on board a Saga Mediterranean cruise ship. The headwear is inspired by wicker waste paper baskets. |
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Accessories are big at London Fashion Week, they’re big and they’re bold, meaning that big, bold Leo is the perfect model for this finely crafted yellow hat, made from twine and the tears of underpaid sweatshop workers. The dress is the model’s own. |
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An underlying theme of reinvention cuts through this year’s London Fashion Week; here Leo models a dress inspired by Vivienne Westwood and fashioned from the unwanted curtains of a Women’s Institute in Orpington. The earings are made from the studs of a pair of Cica Blades Leo once wore whilst at Stevenage. |
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Bold and bright patterns are in as shown in this garment inspired by a Japanese children’s cartoon series about a time travelling livestock auctioneer. What appears to be PVC gloves and trousers are actually part of a full-body PVC morph-type suit minus the head. Leo also wears a look of embarrassment which is all his own work. |
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The last piece in this daring collection is this cut away playsuit inspired by the summers of our past. It mixes a 50s style polka-dot body with those curtains you used to get to try and keep flies from buzzing in your back door. The colours on the strands depict each of Leo’s former clubs. |
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